When I was young and just married, I was very selfish and foolish. I loved my wife but more for what I got from her. She was in the same category as owning a brand new car! I kinda figured that she was just a woman and was there to serve my every need.
This was not an uncommon point of view. I learnt this from those around me. It all seemed acceptable. But when I became a Christian that all changed. For the first time I understood what LOVE really was about:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Then I discovered:
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. People reap what they sow. Those who sow to please their sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; those who sow to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
Galatians 6:7,8
How many marriages have you seen destroyed because of an attitude like the one I originally had? Most. If I want a good marriage then I had better sow into it good things. If I want a crappy marriage, or none at all, just keep the attitude!
As a Pastor once told me, “A relationship is like that between a dog and a tic. Sometimes you are the dog and sometimes you are the tic, but you both can’t be the tic all the time!” And he is right, who wants to suck the life out of each other.
As Christians we are called to love God and to love people. So we can apply the same principles above, to EVERY relationship. What you sow, so shall you reap. What you GIVE to the relationship, or what you TAKE from the relationship, will determine what sort of relationship it will be.
Will you choose to be the tic!? Or, will you choose to GIVE Life to those around you?