I love how God has created men and women. As a male, I am attracted to women…it was designed that way. But I chose one women for life and when I married her, I made a vow to forsake all others.

When I was younger and foolish, I would have a good look at the opposite sex, “Wow! Look at that!”, and justify it with the comment,”Hasn’t God created such a beauty that we can enjoy looking at”.

My good friend, Dave, one day challenged me and asked why I was cheating on my wife. What an accusation…no way was I cheating on Judith. He pointed out that I was, every time I ‘checked out the chicks’. I came up with all sorts of excuses and justification why looking upon the beauty of a woman wasn’t bad. He just simply said, “Stop perving PJ!”

Most divorces started with a look. The look leads to ogling. Ogling leads to wishful thinking. Wishful thinking leads to fantasizing. Fantasizing leads to entertaining the thought of ‘test-the-waters’ which leads to ‘just-this-once’ which leads to an affair. And there you have it. One destroyed marriage.

So the advice, “Stop perving PJ!” was indeed an excellent call.

Then there is the old joke, “What’s the difference between a joke and a woman getting out of a car?” A. “Sometimes you see it, some times you don’t!”… a bit crass I know, but what happens when you accidentally glance and see something that you shouldn’t have seen in the first place?

My friend’s advice was, “The first look was free, the second is sin!” Sin kills. The second glance turns to a stare and that’s when you begin the slippery path.

The Bible has this to say:

My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you. Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and to insight, “You are my relative.” They will keep you from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words.
Proverbs 7:1-5

It was only when I read the Bible did I fully comprehend what it meant to be faithful and to truly love my wife. For this I am grateful…. we will be married 25 years on May 12th.